First of all, I love the quote at the beginning of the book: "A child needs your love most when he deserves it least." -Erma Bombeck. I think it sets up a major question that the book will address. I also, irrelevantly, love it because it applies to being a teacher. It is similar to another quote by MLK Jr. that my advisor from Columbia told us right before we graduated: "Whom you would change you must first love. And they must know that you love them."
Anyway.
I'm still off to a slow start with this book but one thing is pretty clear - Eva had a child for all the wrong reasons. She mentions that thinking about having a kid was like choosing a Thumbelina present for Christmas. Or that having a kid would be nice for having something else to spend money on. Or it's another person to receive love and compliments from. Yikes. Clearly, while it seems like Franklin wanted to be a father for the right reasons, Eva is the opposite of a maternal woman.
One complaint about this book so far: The fact that it is in the form of written letters makes it a little awkward for me. The emotions and thoughts are beautifully written but I can't shake the realization that when "Eva" recounts a time in the past for Franklin, the author is trying to set up the story for her readers. Yet, Eva shares all these details that she wouldn't really need to tell her ex-husband, like when she says what year she was born. You know what I mean? Did this bother anybody else?
Throughout this book, I'm really trying to decide if I think Eva is a bad mother. She outright admits that she never felt the mother syndrome, that she didn't love Kevin the way she thought she should, etc. etc. However, I can't get away from the fact that she really does try. She doesn't just leave him alone - she does what she thinks she's supposed to be doing, even if it doesn't come naturally to her.
She says on page 57, "You thin kI was mean to him, and that's why he withdrew. I don't think so. I think he wants me to be mean to him the way other people pinch themselves to make sure they're awake, and if anything he slackened in disappointment that here I was finally pitching a few halfheartedly injurious remarks and he felt nothing."
This story is very much a chicken-and-egg situation - Is Kevin troubled because Eva doesn't love him, or does Eva struggle to love him because he's troubled (and because motherhood didn't fit her even while she was pregnant with him).
3 comments:
First of all, I love the quote at the beginning of the book: "A child needs your love most when he deserves it least." -Erma Bombeck. I think it sets up a major question that the book will address. I also, irrelevantly, love it because it applies to being a teacher. It is similar to another quote by MLK Jr. that my advisor from Columbia told us right before we graduated: "Whom you would change you must first love. And they must know that you love them."
Anyway.
I'm still off to a slow start with this book but one thing is pretty clear - Eva had a child for all the wrong reasons. She mentions that thinking about having a kid was like choosing a Thumbelina present for Christmas. Or that having a kid would be nice for having something else to spend money on. Or it's another person to receive love and compliments from. Yikes. Clearly, while it seems like Franklin wanted to be a father for the right reasons, Eva is the opposite of a maternal woman.
One complaint about this book so far: The fact that it is in the form of written letters makes it a little awkward for me. The emotions and thoughts are beautifully written but I can't shake the realization that when "Eva" recounts a time in the past for Franklin, the author is trying to set up the story for her readers. Yet, Eva shares all these details that she wouldn't really need to tell her ex-husband, like when she says what year she was born. You know what I mean? Did this bother anybody else?
Throughout this book, I'm really trying to decide if I think Eva is a bad mother. She outright admits that she never felt the mother syndrome, that she didn't love Kevin the way she thought she should, etc. etc. However, I can't get away from the fact that she really does try. She doesn't just leave him alone - she does what she thinks she's supposed to be doing, even if it doesn't come naturally to her.
She says on page 57, "You thin kI was mean to him, and that's why he withdrew. I don't think so. I think he wants me to be mean to him the way other people pinch themselves to make sure they're awake, and if anything he slackened in disappointment that here I was finally pitching a few halfheartedly injurious remarks and he felt nothing."
This story is very much a chicken-and-egg situation - Is Kevin troubled because Eva doesn't love him, or does Eva struggle to love him because he's troubled (and because motherhood didn't fit her even while she was pregnant with him).
I, as well, LOVED that quote, and I think it's one thing many parents fail at.
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